We often create bridges to connect with people. Love. Pain. Wanting. Anxiety. Hate. What else do two people need to stay in touch?
We aren’t who we used to be. We’ve changed bridges from love and friendship to pain and hate. I dont know if you feel the same or is it just me thinking about crap. Yes, crap. Because, in the end I would be the one sitting there
thinking overthinking about how we were and how we have become. Why do I even care? Why do I keep thinking about shit? Why do I?
After you changed, I always tried to talk and always tried to bring back the old you, the old us. But no, you never let me. You broke your connection with me, and the worst part of it
was is back bitching. You’ve back bitched about me. Yes, I got to know. Sad, huh? See… the one’s you trust dont really like you. Cause perhaps you’ve behaved the same with them and now all you are doing is trying to act sweet. But, I was the one who really cared. But… oops, to late now… I’m glad I slipped off your hands. This time, I’m glad you oiled your hands before you could grab mine. And yes, I’m not gonna forgive you like I used to. I’m done with hearing all the nonsense. Times may have changed but you didn’t. Thank you for so much love. Thank you for the care. Thank you.
Friendships don’t turn out to be the best part of my life.
Failures pushed her. She saw no hope. It wasn’t a great day; but like most of the days she felt what nobody ever understood. ‘Building special memories?’, she thought was just a misnomer. The urge to scream ended up with nail marks on her hand. The clutter she had built ended up with blood on the floor. And the dark days ended up with wet pillows at night.
It wasn’t the end of her life. It wasn’t the good time either. But she had waited enough for the beautiful days to come back, she had waited enough for the people around her to understand how harsh it feels on hearing those words, she had waited enough for those special people to come back in her life, she had waited too long; this just had to happen.
The pressure of scheduled tests wasn’t easy to handle. And those thoughts, those words rang in her ear every single time she opened the books. Fudgeling, made it worse.
Life was challenging her. And it had been too long, she failed and was left in a worse state.
Her heart ached. Her strength was lost. She needed someone to hug her and say they’re there for her. She needed someone to stay. She needed a little love. She needed to breathe.
I’m not one of those beautiful looking people in school. I’m not a popular kid. Being popular in my school needs either intelligence or looks. This ain’t my philosophy though. But the people in my school have many perspectives and this is one of them.
We have been talking about looks recently. We have been judging people on various aspects, which made me think, do looks matter? Are people with looks on top of any person’s list? Does being beautiful change the mindset of people?
I agree looks matter. Of course they do, but to what extent? Is there just one criteria? If there are many, why do people end up judging the rest just on the basis of one?
Boys of my class always look for curves. But do they realise everyone can not get everything. Do curves make a girl beautiful? Does it emphasise her character? Her personality? Is it curves that guys fall for? Falling for curves is just lust. Isn’t it? And there is a difference between Lust and love.
Liking someone for just looks is lust not love.
Before I sign off, I would really like to know, how much do looks matter?
Days went by. Time never stopped. It was getting tougher. She wasn’t prepared to face anything that came towards her. Failures had already pulled her down many times, she was afraid that this could be the next.
Every single time she gathered the pieces and tried to get up, someone/something pushed her with a larger force each time. The force is so large, so strong that the pieces become even smaller. She never gave up but the last experience was so bitter that the present has never been sweet enough.
Nothing favoured her. Neither did she herself.
It grew darker. The moon shone brighter. City lights filled the city with life. It was comparitively quiet.
She stood there in the balcony gazing the sky, waiting for a shooting star. She wanted to make a wish. A wish, uncertain to be true. It was getting tough and the pain in her throat made it tougher. But she kept on gazing; because, it was a last hope.
23rd May 2017, we were honoured by respective positions in the council body of the school. Yes, I was one of them. Many were left heart broken. Many were happy to get a respectable position (President, Vice President and the Secretary).
I was chosen to be the secretary of Science Club. Yes, I was happy (I didn’t have any hope of getting any position anyway *grins*). It is the lowest position. But I never cared about being in the lowest or in the top position. Yes, I would have been a little more happier if I would have got a better one.
But little did I know, me being a secretary would be treated like that. And I never knew that a guy who was so sweet to me last year would ever hurt me this way. I never knew he would change just being at a higher position. I never knew. One should know, that everyone can not be a hero straight away, and especially people like me. I am not one of the popular kids in school. I am not an outspoken person. And making a position in school was very difficult for me. I am not like you. You should know that. At least I am a part of the council body… plus, a position is a position. You can not judge it. And let me tell you, you are no boss here, it’s a school. And everyones treated the same way. You don’t have any right to force me to do anything.
What if, I’m better at something else you do not know? A position can not define me.
And this, defines you. Now I know you aren’t who I thought you were. Now I know your truest colours. And I promise you, you will surely regret saying whatever you did someday.
Someday you will.
Getting back to wordpress is so difficult but I really wanna get back. I never wanted to start with this “I-have-come-back” post, but, I have no post in mind, rather I should say I just don’t know how to write and what to write first.
Many of you reading this might wonder where I was (I suppose), well I was busy. Not really, but yeah. Since my parents don’t know about my blog it is difficult to come up. And the major reason is, since I’m a teenager of 17 and am in the last year of school I have to perform my best in all exams though I haven’t. And I hate that. It’s the only thing I hate. Really. (Umm… well no, if you wanna consider insects, I hate them too)
I know this is a stupid post. But I just wanna start of with something. Be it this. This is my third post in my new blog. (I deleted the old one 😢😓, for certain reasons) and this is my second stupid post. I just shouldn’t consider them as three posts. Hope I end up writing more posts… of me, my journey of life, the things that hurt me, the people who end up changing for certain reasons, the things I never want to happen but they are the first things to happen etc. etc.
Hope to see you guys soon.
Climbing up the stairs to reach a new and better place filled with love…
Wordpress. Well, what do I say about this? I was on wordpress till last year, but then I had to delete my blog due to some unavoidable circumstances. I got so addicted to it that, even though I deleted it… I kept on thinking about it, and so here I am again. ✌
It used to be such an amazing time before. The love I got here, the comments, the followers, the likes! OMG, they were amazing, why did I delete it?!
Anyway, I can’t get what I lost. The love. The care. The joy. I guess I can’t get them back. But, this time I’m back to regain it. I’m back with new hopes, new stories and a better life, unlike the previous one, ugh just forget it. So I’m just back to enjoy, to share, to learn. But, will I be able to get those 100+ followers back? Will I be able to write again? Will I be able to get those 1000+ likes again? I hope I will. I will, right? Well, I hope for the best. Anyway, I’ll still be here… enjoying…
Not making this long, bye-bye for now.