Eccedentesiast.

Failures pushed her. She saw no hope. It wasn’t a great day; but like most of the days she felt what nobody ever understood. ‘Building special memories?’, she thought was just a misnomer. The urge to scream ended up with nail marks on her hand. The clutter she had built ended up with blood on the floor. And the dark days ended up with wet pillows at night. 

It wasn’t the end of her life. It wasn’t the good time either. But she had waited enough for the beautiful days to come back, she had waited enough for the people around her to understand how harsh it feels on hearing those words, she had waited enough for those special people to come back in her life, she had waited too long; this just had to happen. 

The pressure of scheduled tests wasn’t easy to handle. And those thoughts, those words rang in her ear every single time she opened the books. Fudgeling, made it worse. 

Life was challenging her. And it had been too long, she failed and was left in a worse state.

Her heart ached. Her strength was lost. She needed someone to hug her and say they’re there for her. She needed someone to stay. She needed a little love. She needed to breathe.

Words cut deeper than a knife. 

23rd May 2017, we were honoured by respective positions in the council body of the school. Yes, I was one of them. Many were left heart broken. Many were happy to get a respectable position (President, Vice President and the Secretary).

I was chosen to be the secretary of Science Club. Yes, I was happy (I didn’t have any hope of getting any position anyway *grins*). It is the lowest position. But I never cared about being in the lowest or in the top position. Yes, I would have been a little more happier if I would have got a better one. 

But little did I know, me being a secretary would be treated like that. And I never knew that a guy who was so sweet to me last year would ever hurt me this way. I never knew he would change just being at a higher position. I never knew. One should know, that everyone can not be a hero straight away, and especially people like me. I am not one of the popular kids in school. I am not an outspoken person. And making a position in school was very difficult for me. I am not like you. You should know that. At least I am a part of the council body… plus, a position is a position. You can not judge it. And let me tell you, you are no boss here, it’s a school. And everyones treated the same way. You don’t have any right to force me to do anything. 

What if, I’m better at something else you do not know? A position can not define me. 

And this, defines you. Now I know you aren’t who I thought you were. Now I know your truest colours. And I promise you, you will surely regret saying whatever you did someday. 

Someday you will. 

Ambivalence? Again?

His eyes so beautiful, smile so charming, attitude so lovely, just a little hard for her to resist. She stood there waiting for him to say something. She knew he wouldn’t say a word. He didn’t know her. Or did he? But she stood right there. Just waiting. 

The sun glared. The leaves rustled. And the time didn’t stop for anything to occur. Neither did she stop waiting. She stopped gazing the trees and the grass around, looked up, and her eyes met his. She smiled. And her heart beat fast… so fast that she couldn’t catch it. She could feel the butterflies come again. She thought she had lost it. Infact, she had really lost it for those few minutes.
But… an experience revoked her. She was determined to not go further… because, she knew it would be a pain later. A pain so hard, she wouldn’t recover. Silence became the best tool she could use then. Everything inside her calmed. The butterflies flew away. She looked down and preferred going away instead of getting her heart burnt of all she had to deny.