Breathing new air.

2017 ended with happiness, regret, guilt, etc. at the same time. There were days I was completely crazy, laughing, playing, fooling around; while on the other hand, there were days tears never stopped pouring and ended with scars somewhere on my body. 

Alot of things happened in 2017. I finally learned to get over those people who never cared about me. I made a new friend, but I still have trust issues and I still feel insecure about things (all thanks to those who shattered everything well). I talked comparitively more than I did in 2016. But, I also failed in some things. I failed to be a good daughter. I failed to be a good sister. I failed to be myself. I lost confidence and everything I did got me nothing good. I let many people down. I stressed out too much. I lost all the respect from teachers, thanks to my low grades. 

2017, changed me the most. Changed my perspective to look at things and also, most importantly, slowly taught me to not care for things that might hurt me. Off course, not that I don’t really care, but somewhere deep, it just doesn’t matter now.

Today is the first day in 2018. And, my only resolution is to become a better human. I have to prove many people wrong and most importantly, I have to learn to love myself. There are certain rules I have to follow. I am changing my priorities from friendships to career and my goals in life. I have to bring some optimism in life. I have to let people get out of my life if they don’t want to stay. I have to stop crying for people who do not deserve me. I have to devote less time on the phone. I have to care for myself and my family. Friendship is a hole in my heart. And I am happy with what I have, or am left with. I have to be successful in anything I do.

Wish you a happy new year. May all your wishes come true and happiness guide your path.
With lots of love.



Failures pushed her. She saw no hope. It wasn’t a great day; but like most of the days she felt what nobody ever understood. ‘Building special memories?’, she thought was just a misnomer. The urge to scream ended up with nail marks on her hand. The clutter she had built ended up with blood on the floor. And the dark days ended up with wet pillows at night. 

It wasn’t the end of her life. It wasn’t the good time either. But she had waited enough for the beautiful days to come back, she had waited enough for the people around her to understand how harsh it feels on hearing those words, she had waited enough for those special people to come back in her life, she had waited too long; this just had to happen. 

The pressure of scheduled tests wasn’t easy to handle. And those thoughts, those words rang in her ear every single time she opened the books. Fudgeling, made it worse. 

Life was challenging her. And it had been too long, she failed and was left in a worse state.

Her heart ached. Her strength was lost. She needed someone to hug her and say they’re there for her. She needed someone to stay. She needed a little love. She needed to breathe.